Category Archives: Self Leadership

Watch Out For That Voice Between Your Ears

19 Monday Dec 2011

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More than anyone else; watch out for that voice between your ears and listen carefully to what it is telling you. Listen carefully when it tells you things like “you can’t do it”, or “it is not worth trying” or “it ain’t working” or “you are bad” or “why do you always fail?”.

Such words won’t help you and are more damaging to you, your self-esteem and your well-being than any destructive criticism or negativity you could receive from anyone around you even closer family members, friends, colleagues or bosses. This is simply because this voice could keep on telling you such lies all the time and while listening to them unconsciously, you would reach a point when you would really believe them and mistakenly think this is who you really are or capable of doing.

That is why, everytime you hear this negative voice, stop for a moment and consider what it is telling you. If it is something negative or bad about yourself or about someone or something, stop and ask these questions: Is this really true? Does this help me to get better or feel better? Is this who I really am?

Question this voice and challenge it because it has the biggest impact on your life, more than anyone and anything in the outside world.

Does Positive Thinking Really Matter?!

15 Thursday Dec 2011

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We are so obsessed about negativity in our society that when we meet someone who is optimist, someone who is cheerful, someone who is upbeat, we say: here comes Mr. Positive! Like if being positive and seeing the best in people and situations is bad!

People somehow associate positive thinking with being unrealistic or dreamer. But what is positive thinking anyway?! Positive thinking is not about pretending that things are going perfect and avoid fixing the problems. Positive thinking is about seeing things as they are, but not worse than they are. It is simply about not focusing on the problem and becoming so obsessed about it. It is about not associating ourselves with the problem or dwelling on it most of the time until we lose sight of the whole picture.

Positive thinking is about spending  90% of our time on the solution instead of the problem. Of course we need to understand the problem and analyze it but once we do so, we need to proceed forward to the solution instead of being stuck forever looking at the problem and wondering why do they do this always to me? Why it is always not working? Why now? why, why, why?! The types of questions that will never help us to go forward. The types of questions that completely disempower us. And the more we dwell on the problem, the more we feel down, the more things will get worst because we lack the deeds to do something about them.

Positive thinking is about asking the right question like: What is the opportunity in this? how can I make it better? How can I never let this happen again? How can I turn this around? How can this help me to become a better person? This is what positive thinking is and yes, it does really matter because, although it is called positive thinking, it is, in fact, the one and only realistic thinking.

Don’t Just “Like” Quotes, Let Them Inspire You…

14 Wednesday Dec 2011

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Quotes are not there so we would just “like” them. They are not just cool stuff that we share because they are “nice” or “cute”. Quotes are meant to inspire us to change; to change our attitude or change our deeds. To do something about our life. To improve something in our relationships; our health; our work; our finances or the way we are using our time.

Quotes are the very essence of great beings’ experiences; many of them were extremely painful ones. They are the legacy of brave people and they are there to remind us of the life’s fundamentals which we didn’t learn in school. Quotes are full of wisdom which could take us a lifetime or journey of great adversity to really get.

Quotes could be the wake up call to change, to transformation, to awakening. Quotes can be the fire that can enlighten our way towards more fulfillment and self actualization in life. Quotes are there so they would inspire us to say: That is it, I will change this forever.

So let’s not waste this treasure by just “liking” it. Let’s use it to get inspired. Let’s act. Let’s change. It doesn’t matter how big or small this change would be because as Lao-tzu said “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Let’s make every quote be the fuel of these very first steps to life change.

The Voice of Our Conscience

13 Tuesday Dec 2011

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The biggest price we pay for doing something bad, even small thing, like treating one of our employees badly or being mean to someone, is NOT the negative feedback from our boss, the criticism from our partner or our parents, the punishment we get from our teacher or the low marks in school. The biggest price we pay is this internal voice, the voice of our conscience which will remind us all the time that what we did is not right. This is the biggest price we pay because while the remark of our boss or the voice of our partner or teacher will be painful to hear once, the voice of our conscience stays with us forever.  It is the biggest pain because while all others’ criticism could be wrong, we know deep down inside us that the voice of our conscience is never so. It is the biggest pain because no one can damage our self-esteem without our own approval and our conscience is the only and ultimate approver.

The “Secret” of Life

12 Monday Dec 2011

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Life is not just happening to us. Life is not a series of luck, chances or coincidences. Life is not about circumstances and events that control us or come and go and make our lives great or bad.

Life is a series of decisions that we take every single moment and we pay the consequences either in rewards or in pain accordingly. Life is about our thoughts, our feelings, our words, our deeds, our habits and our character and all those are under our own responsibilities even if we decide to resign from them and leave it for the “Pavlovian” reflex to take care of this responsibility. They are simply decisions which we either take consciously or unconsciously:  unconsciously by leaving it for the social conditioning to decide on our behalf or consciously by deciding that we are the one in charge whatever the price we will pay to do so.

Needless to say, this is a very challenging path. It requires guts; it requires power; it requires persistence, commitment and patience and yes it is tough and painful. But we need to decide which pain we want to take as Jim Rohn says: “….the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” The choice is ours.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life and you will call it fate.” Carl Jung

What Success Is Not…

11 Sunday Dec 2011

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Success is not an ego journey. It is not about “look how great I am”. Success is a spiritual journey to explore and achieve our true potential to serve and help others. It is about adding more value to people around us. It is simply not about the “I”; it is about the “We”.

Success is not a destination. It is not about getting there. Success is a journey like happiness. It is an everyday journey of growth and expansion.

Success is not money or material things. Success is inner joy and peace. Success is the sense of abundance. Success is energy, good health and great relationships.

Don’t Blame Anyone; Even Yourself…

10 Saturday Dec 2011

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Blaming others about our situation in any area of our life will not help us because by doing so we give away our responsibility to be in charge and change. This is actually well understood by some of us nevertheless the trap, we fall in sometimes, is instead of blaming others, we start blaming ourselves; which doesn’t help neither. The reason is by doing so (blaming ourselves) we are condemning ourselves for being bad and focus on how and why we are bad and what went bad.

Nevertheless, taking responsibility is not same as taking the blame. Taking responsibility is doing something about the things that we are not happy about it in our life or around us. It could be taking an action to change it if this could be changed i.e. within our control, or, if it is unchangeable i.e. out of our control, we just accept it by changing your attitude toward it.

One of the Most Important Lessons in Leadership

07 Wednesday Dec 2011

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Most of us can tell stories how our life is bad or how we didn’t achieve what we want because of something or someone except ourselves.  We didn’t pass the exam because the teacher was not fair or the questions were too difficult, we are not happy because the weather is not good today, we did not get that job because the requirements are too tough, we are always moody because that it is something in our genes. As a matter of fact, social conditioning has made us not only believe these stories but also create them every day to hide our own lack of initiatives and pro-activeness to address the challenges we face in our life.

It is very easy to put the responsibility on someone or something outside our own control because it makes us able to justify not being, having or doing what we want.  Because it takes much courage to admit that it is our own fault that we didn’t change our response to these circumstances or factors outside us until we get the results we were aiming for.

But why do we have to take responsibility of the results we are getting in our own life for being who we are or having what we have or doing what we do? Because very simply by doing so we change from being an object to a subject. Because it empowers us to take control; to take action; to change; to do something different; to be the one in charge; to move once and for good from  victimhood to leadership.

Our Leaders Are The Result of Who We Are

02 Friday Dec 2011

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Whether leaders of countries or organizations; we always get the leaders we deserve because our leaders are nothing more than a reflection or a mirror of who and what we are. They represent the sum or the result of our collective consciousness.

Therefore, if we are not happy with the leaders we have, we need to start to change ourselves. If our leaders are weak, we need to become strong. If our leaders are unethical, we need to become more ethical. If our leaders are not good, we need to move to greatness ourselves first. Otherwise, if we keep on blaming and complaining about our leaders, we will continue to empower them and dis-empower ourselves for changing and getting better leadership. We always get the leaders we deserve, because they represent the result of who and what we are. So the only way to have better leadership is by becoming better ourselves.

“This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.” Plato

What is the World Hungriest for?

02 Friday Dec 2011

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The world is hungry for real leaders. For someone who would stand up and say I am responsible; I am responsible for the mess; not complain and blame everyone else about it. For someone who would stand tall in the middle of the storm. For someone whom people will look at and feel confident they can follow. For someone who can inspire people and make them become their best. For someone who can decide and take action. For someone who cares about everyone around him and not just about himself. For someone who thinks “We” not “I”. For someone who is kind but strong and powerful. The world is hungry for leaders; for true and inspiring leaders.