*Rory Vaden is an award-winning sales trainer, strategist, and motivational speaker.
Success is not an ego journey. It is not about “look how great I am”. Success is a spiritual journey to explore and achieve our true potential to serve and help others. It is about adding more value to people around us. It is simply not about the “I”; it is about the “We”.
Success is not a destination. It is not about getting there. Success is a journey like happiness. It is an everyday journey of growth and expansion.
Success is not money or material things. Success is inner joy and peace. Success is the sense of abundance. Success is energy, good health and great relationships.
We go to school and then university to learn about everything to have successful career and make a living but what they really miss to teach us is the very basics and fundamentals in our lives, the basics and fundamentals to lead our life in a balanced way in all dimensions; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. They teach us how to design skyscrapers but not to design our life, how to lead corporations but not our destinies, how to heal others but not ourselves. They don’t teach us how to be proactive and responsible, how to take care of our bodies, how to manage our emotions, how to improve our relationships, how to manage effectively our finances and our time; all the very basic elements of our everyday’s life. So while a CEO builds successfully a huge organization, the mess starts to build up in his life too. It could be his family, his friends or his health. A musician or an artist who is extremely talented whose arts inspire and make millions of people happier lives in deep depression and is addicted to drugs to survive. People who work nights and days but never succeed to save or become financially independent.
So what is the solution?
There is of course an urgent need to reform the systems of education from school to university and luckily this is already starting to change in this direction in few places in the world. But what every one of us really needs to do is to expand our references and listen to new voices. We need to invest in building the basic knowledge which we missed in our years of education. We need to learn more about how to get better in our relationships, our finances, our health and energy, our emotions, our time management; the very fundamentals of our lives.
We need to read great and inspiring books and materials on how we can grow and expand in every dimensions of our life. We need to read the autobiography of great people, of inspiring leaders, of people who left a legacy in this world.
We need to listen and watch good materials from audiobooks to videos which can teach us or make us improve in gaining a new skill or expertise or to become happier or healthier. But not listening the news which keep on telling us the same old stories everyday how everything is going bad, how the economies are collapsing and that there is no hope. Not the soap operas that teach us nothing about becoming better; at least not “Desperate Housewives”, “How I Met Your Mother” , “Diary of a Call Girl” or “Gossip Girl”!
We need to get around new voices, new references, new role models not the same negative complainers and naysayers at work, at university or at school. We need to seek for, spend time with and learn from the people who are positive, happy, healthy, successful and financially independent. We need to be around people who can tell us “You Can Do It” not all the reasons why we can’t. We need to be around the people who inspire us not de-motivate us.
Nothing can summarize this better than this quote by Charles Tremendous” Jones: “You will be exactly the same person you are today in five years time – Except for two things: The people you meet and the books you read” . What are you reading, listening to, and watching; and whom are you spending time with; most of the time?
Isn’t this a tricky question? It is indeed tricky because we have been conditioned to believe the former. So we spend all our lives to chase something to become happy only to realize that the joy we get at the end when we succeed is not what we expected or doesn’t last that long. And because we are in a completely different paradigm, we will not understand that happiness cannot be pursued except from experience. This is when we will understand that happiness brings success. Simply speaking, if I am happy, I am excited, I am feeling good, I will be more motivated and I will accomplish whatever I want while enjoying the process. So the truth is we need to strive all the time to happily achieve not achieve to be happy. It is all about the process not the destination.
There are a lot of people who are sensitive to success. For them success means a lot of money and fame, a Ferrari, a yacht, a villa, private jet…etc and because of that they avoid anything that is related to something called success. Maybe some of these people consider themselves spiritual or maybe taken life “easy”. But what they are missing is that success is nothing more than achieving our true potential and enjoying the process of becoming a better human being. They are missing the point that success is not about money and what we get but the person we become to be able to add value to people around us. They don’t get the fact that success is not only about work or business (which is all about adding value to people around us) but also about our relationships, our emotions, our health and our connection to God. They miss all these to settle for mediocrity in life, because they miss that success is nothing more than becoming how we really are. Nothing could represent this more than the metaphor that someone who gives you a Ferrari but you park it at home watching it everyday without even driving it once. Success is taking ourself out for this ride, for this journey to explore our true potential and live life to its fullest!